Relationships, is it worth the time?

My friend had just finished telling me about her guy problems and I can’t help but think, “Why do feelings exists and why do we date while in college?” I understand that it’s so hard to control your feelings especially if you do like someone, but why?

I’m not saying I don’t date but sometimes I do sit there and wonder why I put myself through relationships at this point in my life when I’m so devoted to my education and so focus on my schooling; and especially because I really don’t know where it’s going. Whenever I date someone, I don’t ever think about the future, I don’t sit and ponder about spending the rest of my life with that particular person because there is obviously no way to tell whether you are going to marry this person or not.

If I don’t know whether I’m going to be with someone in the future or not, why do I have date people? So then because I’m so young should I just blow off every relationship that could’ve or should’ve happened with me and another individual since our future is obviously so mysterious?

It’s funny that I think that but I don’t act it. In the back of my mind these questions are always floating around but in the past I still I put myself through relationships that always resulted in a breakup.

I guess I can never really answer those questions and that’s why all I can do is live in the moment and let the future be a surprise to not only me but everyone else who ever ponder about why we date people at a young age and at the stage of our lives.

flu shot gone wrong

It was just recently that heard about this poor girl whose life was horribly altered by a simple flu shot. I am not sure exactly what happened but apparently the flu shot she got some how damaged her nerves and disabled her from being able to talk or walk normally the way she used to. She is now only able to speak with out stuttering uncontrollably if she was walking backward or running. If she wants to be able to move without any jerking motions she would have to either run or walk backward as well. It’s though she is able to do everything normally by walking backward or running.

When I heard about this, I thought to myself "what a poor girl." Some people are just so unlucky, I mean so many people every year gets the flu shot, but it seems like one out of a million would have to go through something that horrible like the that girl. One out of a million might seem like not much but when you think about it, what if that one person was you? How would you feel? How drastically would your life change?

I know for sure that if that was to happen to me, I would feel like it could happen to just about any body. I would also become very cautious about modern technology and about all the possible risk factors that comes with just about anything. It might sound like I'm being paranoid but after hearing that incident, it only made me believe that anyone's life can change through any small move any second.

oh boy workloads

I just got back from my last class of the day. It's 3:30 pm and I still have not gotten anything done. I look at my planner and there it listed:

1. Post 5th bog
2. Find two sources for 3rd essay topic and analyze it
3. Read "Writing Paragraphs" in the Writer's Reference
4. Start presentation
5. Start 2nd essay for SAS 30 due Friday
6. Start reviewing for SAS 30 midterm Monday
7. Review Notes for NPB12 and Study for Midterm
8. Work Friday & sat.

So I'm thinking to myself "How in the world will I do all this between now and Sunday." Just when I thought things could not get anymore time consuming, I realized I that I have work right after class on Friday until 11pm and work Saturday morning until 3 pm. Once again, more time had been taken out of my workload time. So as I'm sitting here doing this, it made me think about the paragraph that Kaitlin wrote in class about workloads and working at the same time. I am definitely feeling the pressure now.

I really hope all this fighting for time between work and school will pay off in the future. Then it hit me, what if it does not pay off? What if some how something happens and my life just fall apart?! All the time I spent on working and doing homework will go to waste! It was almost as if I'm having a panic attack.

So I took a deep breath and calmed down. I said to myself "Think positively, don't give up." This was the only think I could do because the future is a mystery and as much as I want to know what will happen, I don't. Though I wished I knew so then if my life is to fall apart I should just give up now- but I can't give up. Because the future is such a mystery, giving up now might just ruin my chance of a better future. So with all that thinking, I came to the conclusion that I am definitely thinking too much and I should just continue to work hard, manage my time and hopefully it will all pay off.